My Life is Ruled by a Calendar

Written on 6/15/2013

By Jennifer R. Gilliland

Photo by Nikitta Gilliland

     Summer. It is finally here and I am so excited for the extra time to get ready for the new school year. Is that sad? I am not sitting outside working on a tan but planning for the next year's classes and how and what I will be teaching. Always it seems my brain is working overtime.

     It must be official then: I am a teacher to the core.

     When I think in terms of years, it is always in school years. When someone says to me, "See you next year!" I am always thinking August.

     Forget about the seasons and their official dates, my life is ruled by the school calendar. Summer begins when school gets out and summer is over when school begins. Fall is in September and Winter is just blended in until Winter break. January is the last half of the school year. Then summer in June.

     Really, if only life were that simple. But it isn't.

     June is also birthday month for me. Both my kids have birthdays in June and now I have a new grandson to add to the birthday shopping total. Then let's add father's day and I am pretty much broke by mid June.

     Then we have July. Fireworks, barbeques and thanking our soldiers for their sacrifice for our freedom.

     Now it is August - where did the summer go?

     This fall we will be welcoming a foreign exchange student to our family. Anita, who is coming from Norway, will be joining us at the end of August. She will be attending the local high school and is very excited to come to America. We have been video chatting through Skype and have met her father, who also happens to be a teacher. If you want to learn more about Anita, you can check out her blog at http://america.blogg.no/.

     Now I am hyperventilating but let's go back to today.

     It is just the beginning of summer and still so much to accomplish. Not only do I have to enjoy some time off, but I need to get a bedroom ready for Anita. That involves clearing out the clutter and finding an extra bed. We want to make a very homey little room for her, fitting for a teenage girl coming to America for the first time. I have this anxiety that she won't like anything I do or won't like our family. But I know that I am just over examining it and now I am hyperventilating again.

     But I digress. Summer is here and I need to allow myself to enjoy it and relax. Of course you know what I am doing? Starting a blog and staying busy. Go figure.

Look for the Heroes

Written on 4/17/2013

By Jennifer R. Gilliland

Like many of you out there, I was glued to the television on April 15, 2013, watching the footage and news feeds about the bombing of the Boston Marathon. If you have young children, like I do, you were probably trying your hardest to keep them from seeing too much of the carnage on the TV screen. But kids are smart, sometimes smarter than we give them credit for. Sometimes honesty is best, but how honest should you be? What positive lesson can be gained from any of this?

Then I noticed the footage of the bombing showed the people who rushed in to help. The initial blast knocked some people to their knees, but they rose up and rushed in to help. The horror of the event had a silver lining. The preparedness of the staff of the event, the fact it was at the finish line, the well trained emergency personnel – all these things together took a terrible event and kept it from becoming a catastrophe.

But the stories that have come out are also phenomenal. Like the story of the man and his son who were completing their 31^st Boston Marathon. Did I mention he is 72 and his son is wheelchair bound with cerebral palsy? Dick Hoyt has completed more than 1,000 different marathons, duathalons, and triathlons pushing his son, Richard age 51, in a specially engineered wheelchair.

Dick ran his first race with Richard in 1977 when his son wanted to complete a five mile race in honor of a paralyzed athlete. When the race was complete – and they came in next to last – his son told him when they were running, he didn’t feel handicapped. They have been competing ever since. Their story is fascinating and empowering and you can find out more at www.teamhoyt.com.

Or there is Patton Oswalt. A comedian and actor who simply took the time to put his thoughts into words and has caused a viral sensation on the internet. Better known as the voice of Remi on “Rattatouie,” he now will be remembered as the man who said “When you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'" Not bad for the voice of a rat.

Finally, what about the man in the cowboy hat? The one seen jumping into the middle of the chaos and helping so much he was covered in blood but not injured. His name is Carlos Arrendondo, a Costa Rican implant into the United States who has lived through the worst a parent can: the loss of two children – one to war and one to suicide.

He happened to be a spectator that day in Boston in support of a group running in honor of fallen veterans. This is not the first time he has gotten national media attention. In 2004, his son, Marine Lance Cpl. Alexander S. Arredondo, was killed in Iraq. On his 44^th birthday, the military notified him of the death of his son and in his grief he set his van on fire and severely burned himself. He survived and proceeded to create a moving memorial to his son in the back of his pick-up truck. In 2007 he was severely beaten in an anti-war demonstration. Then in 2011, his other son, Brian, took his own life.

Through all this horrific turmoil in his life, he jumped in and gave lifesaving aid to those in need. He didn’t think twice, he didn’t even hesitate. He just helped.

But he wasn’t the only one. So many people ran to the bombing areas. They didn’t waver. They ran to the center of the action and began giving first aid that probably saved lives.

And then my seven year old son walked in as I was watching the news. He immediately wanted to know what was going on. I didn’t really know how to tell him something bad had happened without worrying him too much.

Then I was reminded of a quote from Fred Rogers of “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.” He said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”

 Now I know what to say to my son. Look for the heroes, not just the ones in uniform, but the everyday people who didn’t questions whether they should help their fellow man, they just did it.

What do we teach our children?

Written on 5/20/13

By Jennifer R. Gilliland

I posted a picture this last week to my Facebook page of my seven-year-old son and one-year-old grandson playing with Legos. I thought it was cute, adorable, and I loved it.

Ashton and Hunter

The first comment was from a stranger I vaguely knew. She said, “Your teaching those kids to be over weight. Please help them stay slimer.” (I’ve left the grammatical and misspelling errors intact.)

I was instantly offended, furious, and heartbroken. Why would you target two beautiful children who are doing exactly what they should be doing: playing? And Legos? I thought they were educational toys? Don’t we give them to our children to help broaden their minds and fine tune their motor skills? My son was teaching my grandson about sharing and how to put the blocks together so they would stick. They were creating characters, people, and houses and using their imaginations. What more could you ask?

I was horrified and most of the comments from my friends and family that followed also expressed my same sentiment. Who was she to judge a picture of two innocent children playing the most basic of kids games? So what if they were indoors and playing on the family room carpet. The point is, playing with Legos is not going to make my son and grandson fat or overweight. Instead, they’re going to learn how to build their minds, construct neurons to places not yet mapped in their brains, and create worlds where only their imaginations are the limit. Who am I to stop this process? As a parent, I think it is my role to encourage this behavior.

Whitney Houston once sang “The children are our future,” and she wasn’t wrong. But it leaves me to wonder what kind of future we are creating if the lessons our children are learning is to be rude, critical, disrespectful, and tactless. That you can get away with anything on the internet because “It’s not a real conversation.”

The questions then is: What do we teach our children?

How about to be nice for starters. To treat each person they meet, whether in person or on the internet, with kindness, dignity, and respect. To not only be concerned with their health and eating healthy, but also being a good human being.

Being a parent is a monumental task. You are raising the future, the people that will be deciding if you go in the old folks home that is nice or one on the borderline to being closed down by the state. Do you want an ubber-healthy, svelte son/daughter who is rude, disrespectful, and horrible, or the opposite?

I vote for the later. I would rather my children be a little overweight but be superb, beautiful human beings. Whose lasting impression on the world is how they don’t stay silent when they see evil occurring, who stand up for the little guy and, when push came to shove, they would choose the oft times difficult path of good and right instead of the easy path.

I think it is my job as a parent to teach them, to build them, into good and righteous human beings. I hope that in the end, by giving my son and grandson Legos, I am teaching them that the sky is the limit and they can help build whatever their heart’s desire.

Maybe we as adults need to play with Legos more often. Then we can remember what it means to share and build a better community for our children.